By Queen B-Lyn

Let’s start with the positive….

I love coming home after a trip away and seeing the progress in the garden and the allotment after just a few days. Today we’ve got fresh courgettes, spinach, onions and potatoes. The cucumbers are growing rapidly, and so are the runner beans. And we’re going to have a glut of tomatoes, but I don’t mind as I’ll use them all. And now back to the bed saga.

Yesterday morning I was awakened by a phone call. (Remember that I’m really ill with Aircon Flu) It was a man saying: Mrs Funnell?


It’s Bodge-up Beds Here. I spoke to your son yesterday.

I haven’t got a son.

(For goodness’ sake, no-one, not even if their deaf aid had low batteries, could mistake Hubby John for a young lad! And what right had this twit got to pre-guess our relationship? And surely the clue’s in Mrs Funnell?)

Well I spoke to someone. Your headboard’s here and your son said he’d come in and pick it up.

I haven’t got a son and I want it delivered and fitted.

Sigh. I’ll see what I can do. (Hangs up.)

The phone rang again and an efficient woman, whose voice made it clear that she was used to sorting things out behind the Twit, said: Mrs Funnell?


Would you like us to deliver and fit your headboard?

Yes please.

Two men will be there tomorrow morning.


Two men turned up at 11.30, and said: We have your headboard here. Would you like us to fit it?

Yes I would.

They unwrapped the headboard and the wooden bits and pulled the bed out. Then I hear one of them being sent to the van. This was followed by a call,

Sorry, we can’t fit your headboard. We haven’t got any bolts long enough. But (Wait for it!) two men will come and fit it this afternoon.


A man with a screwdriver and some bolts in his hand turned up just now and fitted the headboard. He was friendly and  chatty, as people with brains so often are!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to climb into my new bed with matching headboard, and try to sleep off this flippin’ bug!