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Want to reduce your energy bills and keep warm and healthy? Then just follow these steps :

1.Unplug everything

  1. Layer up and remember less polyester and more insulation roll and Bacofoil

3.Cook over a slow-burning candle

  1. Buy an unfeasibly chunky Aran sweater, a Conqueco rechargeable jacket and gloves with microwaveable heat pads
  2. Spend more time upstairs or bring your high-tog duvet downstairs. Use it as a stole or scarf
  1. Buy a Dry Robe

7.Get yourself a chic but common sensical Mr Porter Maison Margiela balaclava

8.Damp-proof yourself by wearing your Barbour Astley quilt and picnic jacket about the house

  1. Find a furry hot water bottle which doesn’t need boiling water. In other words, a man
  2. If you are going to hunker down do it with someone else.

11.Weather seal your cracks with some high waisted ASOS fleecy jogger

  • Purchase a Portaheater

13.Invest in a rug. Toupees cut down significantly on heating bills.

14.Visit Leicester. On-line.

  1. Wear a pair of ripe apricots on your feet.


Hot air rises so heat conservation starts from the feet and there is no better way of reducing heat loss than a pair of Perilla alpaca socks made  by Sandra Morton in Upper Sapy ,Worcester.

Whether heather, undyed oatmeal or cream, peachy/pink or pale blue, made from Peruvuan yarn-dyed in Scotland and knitted and finished in England, they can been worn with footless tights  for maximum  heat retention.

These can also be teamed with a camisole vest or flagship Long Janes from British Thermal. Based  in Wigston, Leicestershire , they have been keeping British families warm since 1982.


The inventors of  the plug-in Portaheat claim their appliance can lower heating bills by 30 per cent. With almost zero energy leakage, it claims to heat up a  mid-sized room in sixty seconds.  It’s better for the environment and your wallet. Its fully portable and has a timer and an air quality control filter. At a price which you wont sneeze at.

Charcoal barbecuing, installing storm doors , dimmer switches and lower showerheads, regularly cleaning your refrigerator coils, line-drying your flannel sheets, switching to LEDs, programmable thermostats, reversing ceiling fans, dryer balls, dry boil elements, solar panels, odourless animal dung briquettes, tankless hot water heaters, washing in cold water, keeping the fridge door closed and freezer full, turning off the heat dry on your dishwasher,  putting computers on sleep, using the microwave more and pre-heating the oven and cooking with lids on.

They all help.


But the best way of cutting down on household heating bills is doing it with someone else.

Build up the heat and turn up your own personal thermostat  by turning on your man. Take advantage of his off-peak rates and facing the sun, let his or her body’s natural bio-chemical processes heat you up.

Logs for wood-burning fires and stoves  can be costly  and burning old utility bills, oil delivery receipts and gas and electric demands  is only a temporary way to reduce your household energy bills.

But sex is good too.  So stay in bed and be active. Sexis  a lot cheaper than solar panels.  Cooching up is a good way to take your mind off the escalating costs of LPG gas canisters and the volatility of the European gas market.

Whether behind drawn curtains or facing the sun, sharing your bed or Hungarian duck down double polar extreme weather sleeping bag with someone is a tried and test and proven way to keep warm.


As long as you avoid cuddling in ceiling voids, eaves and old cold laminate floors and make sure the oven vent is switched off and the damper is closed on the wood-burner, shared body warmth is more cost-effective than coal.

Your partner a cheaper alternative than a coalman.  Heat yourself not the room. Lower bills by raising your own body temperature. Naturally. Partners  and soul mates are nature’s toasty hot water bottles.

But make sure he is energy-audited before putting him to use.

Don’t fire him up too quickly.