falstaffA selection of amusing ‘quickies’:

For sale – 20 Volume encyclopedia. Good condition. No longer needed. Wife Knows everything.

Pedestrian – a motorist with two or more children over seventeen.

Shin – a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Suburbia – where they tear out trees and then name streets after them.

Never entrust your life to a surgeon with more than 3 plasters on his fingers.

Whoever said ‘Nothing is impossible’ never tried slamming a revolving door.

A Committee – a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

Budget – an orderly system for living beyond your means.

Campers -nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

Oversleeping? A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from going back to sleep.