Young woman take bubble bath.

When I was a student in my late teens and early twenties I thoroughly enjoyed visiting  theatre shows and particularly cafés alone. Indeed there was a type of indulgence in taking the time to read a good book or simply take in the bustle whilst enjoying a good coffee without having to make polite conversation with anyone.

There was a time when I cherished and indeed reveled in my solitude. I would happily enjoy a good lunch out, by myself and see it as a special treat to myself.  However, many things have changed since the days that I enjoyed my own company. I got married, I got busier, I got children and I stopped appreciating just what a wonderful self-date I make.

Recently, I have found that under the pressure of work, pregnancy, a young family and just a general go-go-go life I’ve been lacking a bit of down-time and my creative juices have been less than flowing.  I do decided to remedy the matter with a self-date and I’d recommend self-dating to anyone.

Close up of engraved stones

When I talk about dating yourself, I mean spending time doing things that make you feel blissfully happy and valued. It’s about lavishing some love upon yourself, in whatever way you fancy. It’ about making time, just for you and let’s face it, it  can be especially hard to carve out some time with the sole purpose of making yourself happy, but for creative minds and those who wish to remain sane do need some time for a bit of self love.

Sometimes, I think we can become overly reliant on our partner to be a source of company and entertainment.  Of course its wonderful to spend time with a loved one, but not its also really important to spend sometime with yourself so that you can take time to process your own thoughts and develop creative ideas.

I’ve found this to be a valuable writers tool and it doesn’t have to be a major undertaking, it can be as relaxed or elaborate as you like.  Some of my favourite ideas are:

  1. Have a pampering session for no reason.

Take a luxurious bath and fill it with wonderful products. This is about making your soul feel pretty for no particular reason.  Get those scented candles lit , launch the bath bombs or scatter scented rose petals in your bath.  Get whatever takes your fancy at the ready  and get a decadent beverage of your choice. Now all that remains is to switch your phone to silent and lounge in the bath surrounded by flickering candlelight, drink in hand.


  1. Take yourself to a café . Why not take a good book to a café or and even better do some people-watching? The key is that you shouldn’t ask around to see if people want to accompany you first. Then, if you wind up going alone, you’ll feel spending time with yourself is the second-best option, this is about you spending some quality time alone. Make sure you have your notebook and pen at the ready. It’s amazing how many thoughts and words flow when you indulge in a bit of down-time in neutral surroundings.


  1. Go on a mini road trip.This is an easy way to venture outside of your typical boundaries and is a great way to devote a bit of creative time to yourself.  It doesn’t matter what you do or where you go as long as you indulge in some ‘you’ time.


Allowing myself the time to get away from my everyday life for just one or two hour a week has really started to replenish my confidence and well of creativity. The great thing about spending time alone on a self-date is that you can be yourself or indeed anything you choose to be.  I feel that you’ve got to get out, by yourself, and soak up some creative vibes in order to preserve a sense of yourself.

It’s really easy to feel selfish for taking time out for yourself especially when you get very little time for all the family things you want to cram in, but if you don’t get time to replenish your own energy levels then you don’t have the time and patience for all the things you want to do for and with others.

I read a great article on making time for your relationship and this is most certainly important to. I think the key to making time for things is not to wait until we have the time to fulfil grand or elaborate plans, but to simply make the best of small pleasures and also factor ‘playtime’into the weekly schedule. So whether it is  making time for a hug with your partner or baking a cake with the children  it’ these little things that make life special, but we all need a little self love and ‘me’ time else we end up feeling the strain of everyone else’s demands.