February the 13th will be lucky for some and unlucky for others.
Created in 2010 by the Leslie Knope character in the hit US comedy, “Parks and Recreation”, to thank her close female friends for being her closest friends, the un-official holiday -when “ladies celebrate ladies” with an excess of waffles, bottomless brunches, mani-pedis and Kylie Cotes de Provence rose – can make or break friendships.
And St Valentine’s Day, the day after.
Galentine’s Day being the day before Valentine’s Day, my wife therefore usually spends most of the big (bigger?) day behind a very un-romantic Jamie Hilfiger mud mask trying to sort out her hair which has become the victim of drunken, multiple multi-directional blowouts.
It’s not easy taking the drag version of Einstein to dinner.
Every Feb 13th, my wife gets given emollients, exfoliators and occlusives from her best female friends. And, so as to appear loyal and not ungrateful, she feels that she has to try them all.
Which impacts on the following evening’s supposedly romantic but really not-worth-it expensive dinner for two.
You can’t be romantic staring across the table at someone who the day before looked like Michael Myers from Halloween. It hardly amps up the romance knowing that you could wake up the following morning next to someone in a Scream Ghostface who looks like they are about to go on a major psycho-pathetic killing spree.
Not just cleansing their pores.
It’s even harder to feel romantic when you know your partner’s colon is full to bursting point with pralines and her eyebrows have risen two inches above their former location.
Galentine’s Day is meant to be a tribute to your best female friends. But sometimes it’s a reality check.
Last year, my wife began wondering out loud whether she really had made the right choice of the right sort of friends.
Because none of them had bought her a part of Christian Louboutin Collito loafers. One friend gave her some horrible hard Irish brown cheese instead. When my wife thought she was a true friend
And that there was nothing worse than another perfumed candle. Or soap.
Galentine’s Day , BFF parties and gal pal showers are not just all giggly team spa days. It’s about Netflix watch-together-athons in fluffy spa robes and Lulelumen leggings while bingeing on mimosas and posh chocs.
It’s about :
Trying out Hersheson’s Almost Everything hair cream and the latest Tom Ford lippy shade ( Adored, Naked Rose or Afternoon Delight).
It’s about passing the murumuru butter and passing around the Philip Kingsley Elasticizer and sharing Bamford balancing cream.
It’s all about smearing yourself and your friends with Kloris CBD face and eye creams and having an Otis Batterbee make-up brush gang experience.
It’s about showing your love for your girlfriends by squirting some Byredo 1996 behind their ears.
The true act of female love is entrusting your pulse points to someone else. It is a fact that sustainable hardwood birch and nylon fibres can please women more than men.
Galentine’s Day is about the Malibu and stomping about in your new lug boots to loud musical accompaniment. It’s about chasing the Baileys Original Irish cream with heart-shaped …
And ,of course, its about an unhealthy but good time assured excess of “girly” liqueurs. Liqueurs are a must for Feb 13th.
Share some sisterly love with your besties this year. Enjoy your “Us” time on the latest best day of the year.
But don’t ruin St Valentine’s Day. Which means not waking up looking like a clown has applied your make up and moderating your Godiva chocolate liqueur hangover.
Galentine’s Day is also about remembering Valentine’s Day.
So, don’t go overboard on the skincare on the eve of Feb 14. No one wants to kiss someone who’s breath smells of castor oil, chaga mushrooms and snail slime and emus.
Also, try and save room for that that extremely exorbitant tasting menu and outlandish wine list in the posh restaurant the next night and wear enough eye shadow so your partner can’t see you think the money would be better spent on a pair of Manolo Blahnik pom pom leather and shearling backless party flats or Kurt Geiger crystal-encrusted slippers.
Keep smiling in the candlelight. He will mistake it for affection rather indigestion. Don’t let him sense you have lost your heart to Pierre Marcolini chocolate hearts. Mask the nausea and don’t look like you are regretting all that Kylie.
And really do prefer oysters to Bailey’s salted caramel popcorn.