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VEGAN TOILET TISSUE

CheekyP
CheekyP

There is much to ponder on when you go to the loo these days.  Notably, the atmosphere, air pollution, biodegradability, 27000 trees felled a day, carbon neutral shipping, Forest Stewardship Conservation accreditation, whale and dolphin welfare, animal and septic tank cruelty.

The smallest room in most has become a hot bed of Wokeness. When you go to the loo you want to do your bit and give small business a helping hand.  And oceans.

Cheeky-P
Cheeky-P

You want to know what you are doing is helping sanitation projects around the world.  And lowering foul emissions. You want to flush responsibly, qualm and conscience-free.

But it’s hard to cut through all the planet-positive noise when we go to the loo these days. Some eco- claims soon unravel.

All of us have a choice when we go. Do we want to offset our carbon footprint or continue to single-handedly kill  384 trees in our  lifetime by   abuse.  Do we want to continue- sheet by sheet, 2-ply by 2-ply – contributing to deforestation, air miles and marine pollution. Shouldn’t we take greater control of our toilet tissue?

Crap
Crap

With its slogans  “Good For Your Bum , Good For The World” , “ Every Wipe Counts” and an unabashed love of toilet humour, Melbourne-based Who Gives A Crap pioneered bamboo toilet paper. Its founders are Danny Alexander, Jehan Ratnatunga and Simon Griffiths who was persuaded to sit on a loo seat  until the start-up had sold its first 50,000 rolls. It took fifty-one hours!

“The idea in theory was great, but it turned out there were people buying the toilet paper from all over the world, Brazil, Greece, Australia,’ he said. “I had to stay awake on a live stream for over two days until they were all sold! I was in a state of delirium by the end of it.”

Uranus
Uranus

The company recently received $41m in long-term investment. During the pandemic, panic buying saw sales sky rocket with “Who Gives A Crap” toilet tissue selling at 28 rolls a second.

Says a spokesperson : “We started Who Gives A Crap when we learnt that 2.4 billion people don’t have access to a toilet . Now it’s 2 billion. That’s roughly 40% of the global population and means that around 289,000 children under five die every year from diarrhoeal diseases caused by poor water and sanitation. That’s almost 800 children per day, or one child every two minutes.

“We thought that was pretty crap. So in July 2012 we set up a crowdfunding campaign on IndieGoGo and raised over $50,000 AUD , delivering our first product in March 2013.

WokeRoll
WokeRoll

 

 

 

We donate 50% of our profits to help build toilets and improve sanitation in the developing world.  So far , we have donated closed to $11m AUD.

 

“Toilets have saved more lives than any other modern invention.”

 

Apparently, people are Googling for organic toilet paper more than ever.  “While ours may not be organic, its  100% recycled and made from recycled fibres like post-consumer waste paper like office stationery and textbooks. It’s the roll with the lowest environmental impact. Its biogradable with no inks or dyes. Carbon neutral shipping means we pay for carbon offsets that are equal to the carbon we produce so there are no net carbon emissions in the atmosphere. We’re also working to implement renewable energy at different points in our supply chain. “

The average couple uses 24 rolls of toilet tissue over three months.27,000 trees are cut down every day to make toilet paper. On top of that, over 75,000 square kilometres of forest are lost each year. That’s 27 soccer fields every minute.

Some planet-positive purists, worry about the air miles involved in transport. The bamboo may regrow and be harvested quickly. But it still comes from China.

The Cheeky Panda Company also makes woke nappies, kitchen roll and wipes.   Comments a company spokesperson : “ Using this magical grass, we use 65% less Carbon emissions than if we were using trees – reducing deforestation. We source our bamboo from FSC Certified forests, and NO, the pandas don’t go hungry – they eat another type of bamboo.

“We’re also carbon balanced, balancing the carbon emitted in our process with The World Land Trust, in order to rebuild rainforests in Vietnam and protect animal habitats, so not to emit any excess carbon nasties into our glorious environment.”

More and more people are making an impact when they go to the rest room.

 

UK companies like Torquila McAdam’s “Uranus Wiper” and Blackburn-based,  private label supplier, Accrol-owned “Oceans” are offering hypo-allergenic, ink-free, chlorine free , kind-to-the-behind, kind-to-the-environment do-good feel-good toilet paper.  Oceans also uses plastic-free paper wrap packaging.  As does “Uranus Wiper” which also supports the Anal Cancer Foundation.

It makes- in the EU-   from re-cycled, pre-consumer waste paper hypoallergenic, anti-fungal, non-itchy, lint-free, BPA-free, septic safe, non-clogging paper that comes in 150 sheet  vegan-friendly rolls. The off-white colour is caused by oxygen rather than chlorine being used for whitening.

Says Order Fulfilment Supremo Torquila McAdam : “Uranus Wiper saves 30,000 litres of water per tonne of paper compared to non-reycled paper from virgin paper, using 64% less energy and creating 75% less pollution compared to virgin paper. It claims to save enough electricity for an average three bed-house for a year. Our recycled toilet paper is made from 75% post consumer waste paper that would have ended up in landfills. The remaining 25 % has its origins in waste paper material from virgin paper manufacturing processes.”

 

Each year, toilet rolls in 27.5m UK households use over 3 billion square metres of plastic packaging which someone has calculated is the equivalent of  537,382 Wembley pitches.

The annual UK loo roll market is worth £1.6b. It is now PC to be PCR. And use Post-Consumer Recycled rather touch ADMs -animal derives materials. Like gelatin.

Using recycled office and school waste paper is compatible not only with your ethical responsibilities but also your high-fibre diet. Wipe out pollution. Change the world by changing your loo roll. Enter your WC as a transitioning vegan and exit a zero-waste warrior. The future is in your hands. Hope is within reach.

Make sure you never run out. Make good things happen when you go to the loo. Order a delivery direct to your door.

Discounts are available for regular customers.