Welsh Witterings – new motherhood – an honest account
Todays wittering’s are typed with one hand as my baby daughter takes a snooze on me and it’s is these little things that I have to get used to again. Give me a few years and I’ll look back dreamily at the first week with baby, Rosaleigh; but the reality is mixture of ecstatic joy , overwhelming love and happiness that is coupled with the hell of demand feeding, sleep deprivation, after birth pains and sore nipples.
As each evening approaches it is like a sleep lottery, some nights I win the odd hour of the valuable stuff and most nights I don’t, but as a family unit we are all settling into things as best as we can. The biggest challenge for me this time around has been losing my independence, even throughout pregnancy I was active, busy and out and about; to suddenly give birth and be in a house for a minimum of eight hours a day, with no adult company and no one to just tell you that you are doing fine when you are sleep deprived, hormonally challenged and struggling to settle a baby that even after feeding, changing, winding etc. continues to cry. To top it all its 2pm and you just want that cup of tea you started to make at 11am. Postnatal I don’t have but cabin fever I do and so I’ll be very glad when I get to venture out with Rosaleigh, even if it’s just for an hour to break the monotony and isolation of being a new mummy.
There is no doubt that this time of our lives can make for some of our most beautiful and happiest memories, and I cherish my new baby and the privilege of being a new mum again, but it’s not always as peachy and easy as it appears. During pregnancy I felt the loss of identity occurring where people stop seeing you and only see the bump and I realise now that every time Rob comes home, tired after work and sleep deprived and makes a beeline for the baby and the girls or else wants to sit and zone out; a part of me feels lonely and lost because when he used to walk through the door, he used to nurture me too and I had something more than tales of baby sick and poo to offer to a conversation. Being a new mother doesn’t stop the need to be an individual or the need to be nurtured, yet very few people will hold any form of conversation with a new mother that doesn’t revolve around postpartum health or the baby.
There is no doubt that new parenthood, no matter how many children you already have, is tough on relationships and is challenging beyond compare, but then the rewards are greater than anything else in life. People lament about the joys of new parenthood or moan about the drudgery, but few actually describe the emotional rollercoaster that you embark on when you board New Mummy Express!
So after a particularly rough night, I sat breastfeeding and fantasising about a hot cup of tea, (whilst drinking a stone cold herbal infusion), when my mind started to ponder over all the things I didn’t have time to do when I was gallivanting about, one of them was a blog. There was a time when I would trot out a couple of articles a day, but this was when my girls were small and during their naps I wrote articles. So my new blog is being constructed and I will be focusing upon travel with children and of course food and cookery. I’m incredibly excited about having a purpose built blog and I am sure that Rosaleigh and I will have great fun posting our adventures on it.
Well it’s time to do a nappy change and a feed again and I might try for that cup of tea today. I’ll keep you all posted on the development of the new blog and I may even get to grips with SEO.