Maintenance

A friend of mine asked me the other day what I thought would be the worst car to breakdown in. This got me thinking. If I had all the money in the world, what car would I not want to breakdown in? A Bentley, an Aston Martin or maybe even a Lamborghini?

 

Of course, you know without a shadow of a doubt that if you breakdown in either one of these cars you will be mocked by everyone until you cannot ever face driving it again in daylight.

 

For reasons I can’t explain, I have personally broken down in many expensive cars as a motoring journalist and many times I have hidden away in the bushes until help arrives to minimise the shame.

 

Come to think of it, this is what Peugeot owners do on a regular basis, so it’s quite normal to see a stranded glum looking Peugeot owner on the hard shoulder. Plus- if it’s not broken, then I bet it’s been in a bump with a caravan owner.

 

This then begs the next question. If you did breakdown, what is the likeiest cause? I have given this some thought and below you will see a list that I have compiled of what I believe are the most common breakdown conundrums.

 

  1. Dead or Low Battery – This is because your 19 year old was forced to clean your car on Sunday morning – thus flattening the Battery using the Radio as a Disco while at the same time charging their iPhone.

 

  1. Flat Tire or Tire Blowout – You neglected to check your tyre pressures on a regular basis or you are running around on min tread depth. Get them checked. The rubber between you and the road is what keeps you from crashing – why would you skimp on that?

 

  1. Keys Locked in Vehicle or Lost – Your 2 year old was playing with them because you thought the jingling sound they made would keep them quiet enough so you could get 5 min piece to go to the bathroom – Wrong! The consequence of this is that they proceeded to hide them in a place that you would never think of looking. Plus- Why do we all ask the same stupid question? Where did you have them last?

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Running Out of Fuel – This happens to me a lot because I am always playing the game ‘how far can you go’ it’s simple really. You wait till your fuel gauge warns you that fuel is low, and then you proceed to see how far you can push the limit before you really do need to re-fuel. Believe me, you would not believe how far you can actually go before it splutters to a halt. Note to self? Take a petrol can.

 

  1. Alternator faults or general car maintenance – Persistent battery problems and dim headlights when the engine is idling can indicate alternator/generator faults – This is why getting your car checked by a professional is the only way you can limit the problems you may face. Please ignore Gary the guy down the road who will fix your car for a can of beer. This will only end in frustration. Take it to a garage or get it inspected before a long journey.

 

Before I finish – I wanted to tell you about what I believe would be the worst place in the world to breakdown. It’s called The Road of Death, in Bolivia.

 

Located high up in the mountains, the Road of Death is a winding road so narrow that hundreds of drivers lose control every year and basically tumble down the side of the mountain.

 

The point is that if you break down here, you’re pretty much guaranteed a gruesome death because there is nowhere to go. You’re basically stuck standing in the middle of a road waiting for someone else to come along and run you over or force you to dive over the edge of a mountain cliff. So if you are asked to go on a driving holiday to Bolivia, go to Devon instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Lyn

LYN FUNNELL CV (well, sort of!) Lyn had very successful careers as an Air Hostess, Sales Rep, (she was one of only a couple of women. She beat all the men regularly, becoming the Top Rep in the UK, and 2nd in the world.) And then Catering took over. She did everything from the washing-up, to Silver Service Waitress, and Chef. A few times, she had to cook the meal, dash round the other side and Silver Serve it! In between all this, she wrote as often as she could, building up a reputation as a published short story writer, (Horror and a twist in the tale,) and a Poet. She has appeared as a Performing Poet, and a Demo Chef. Then she discovered the world of the Food & Travel Writer. And that’s what she has continued doing to this day. Her main hobbies are Cookery and entering Competitions. She has won many prizes, including holidays and a moped. She enjoys entering Competitions, submitting her original recipes. She was first in many Competitions, including the Good Housekeeping Millenium Menu, Fruits of France, Bernard Matthews Turkey Recipe, and appeared on BBC’s The One Show Spag Bol contest. She was one of three Finalists, coming 2nd, which makes her Britain’s Spag Bol Queen! Now she runs B-C-ing-U! and loves it! After several years of being messed around by Editors, and having loads of contacts, Lyn formed her own online Magazine, vowing to treat her writers fairly, and to do everything possible to further their careers, publicise their books, etc. She now has a band of excellent regular writers, and the Magazine’s going from strength to strength! Lyn’s online published books; Adverse Camber A collection of my published poems. The First Book of Short Stories The Second Book of Short Stories The Third Book of Short Stories. Many of these stories have been previously published. St Anthony of Padua. The Patron St of the Old. A story of one woman’s terrible ordeal in a Home, and her family’s rescue of her. The Girl Who Watched. A Cuban girl is attacked by an English journalist & what follows! Willy the Whizz & the Wormhole. Suitable for Young Adults, aged 15-95! Get Out Of Debt And Stay Out – Forever! Unsympathetic, hard-hitting, realistic solutions to your problems. All these books are published by Andrews UK Ltd www.andrewsuk.com No, I didn’t pay them to Vanity Publish! They’re all available from Amazon, and many other online publishers. LYN FUNNELL.