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There she goes, The Phoenix taking flight rising from the ashes of Erotica as Sexpo UK hitting the public consciousness hard. Doom laden and gloomy and slate grey November spirits were lifted with 3 weekend days of fun and joy of the adult variety, as a sexual health and lifestyle exhibition at Olympia, London.

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With an estimated 10,000 footfall attendance, the general perception was of a well organised event, providing an interesting assortment of stimulating stands and an invigorating, memorable and outlandish live stage entertainment, which brings me to ‘Pyrohex’. 4 stunning horny leather strapped semi-clothed knee booted ‘Bodica’ blonde ladies strutting the stage S&M style accompanied by a seminal hard rock soundtrack. Like whirling dervishes your senses were assaulted with flamed pyrotechnics, power tools with serious attitude personality and a general pounding of the eyes and mind. OMG. In so many ways the highlight of Sexpo UK, which the thunderous applause from the audience confirmed.

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Particular mention should also go to the ‘Ecstatic Joy Temple’. This joyous stand was providing ‘samplers’ of authentic tantric massage providing ‘a world of intimacy, beauty and bliss’. That last word sums the state of consciousness where I ended up, after the most sensuous and sensory stimulating treatment of lightly bare nipple ‘washing’ accompanied with warm lip ‘nibble’ and electrostatic featherlike hand massaging provided by the most spiritual and warm ladies. I feel a visit to their establishment in Old Street, London for the ‘Full Monty’ any day soon. I really does take you to ‘another place’.

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Undoubtedly the weirdest and surreal act was ‘Pricaso’ – ‘The World’s Best Penile Artist’. He was clothed in nothing more than a large pink top hat, straight out of ‘The Mad Hatters Tea Party’. Master painter Tim Patch twirled his anatomy with amazing dextral artistic effect. The image will for ever stay etched in my memory.

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During the course of the 3 day event, there was a multitudinous selection of seminars to attend. My favourites from these being, ‘Blowjob Masterclass'(why is it ‘blow’ when ‘suck’ is the order of the day?), ‘Male Masturbation Masterclass’ and ‘How to pull a Porn Star’. I was however disappointed to note no ‘Female Masturbation Masterclass’ was in evidence. That I think would have proved extremely interesting.

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To sum up Sexpo UK will only go from strength to strength. It was well planned, bristling with innovation and variety. it will prove to be a calendar event that no distributor or retailer should miss as a platform to meet and greet for the industry. Straight out of the blocks it sprinted forward with great aplomb and enterprise, promising of yet more to come in future years, undoubtedly bigger and even better. Carnal Creative the organisers deserve a huge ‘big-up’ for providing a great new horizon of inventive entertainment.

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Sexpo UK will be back at Olympia, London, 11-13 November 2016

 

Graham Swain

www.grahamswain.com

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About Lyn

LYN FUNNELL CV (well, sort of!) Lyn had very successful careers as an Air Hostess, Sales Rep, (she was one of only a couple of women. She beat all the men regularly, becoming the Top Rep in the UK, and 2nd in the world.) And then Catering took over. She did everything from the washing-up, to Silver Service Waitress, and Chef. A few times, she had to cook the meal, dash round the other side and Silver Serve it! In between all this, she wrote as often as she could, building up a reputation as a published short story writer, (Horror and a twist in the tale,) and a Poet. She has appeared as a Performing Poet, and a Demo Chef. Then she discovered the world of the Food & Travel Writer. And that’s what she has continued doing to this day. Her main hobbies are Cookery and entering Competitions. She has won many prizes, including holidays and a moped. She enjoys entering Competitions, submitting her original recipes. She was first in many Competitions, including the Good Housekeeping Millenium Menu, Fruits of France, Bernard Matthews Turkey Recipe, and appeared on BBC’s The One Show Spag Bol contest. She was one of three Finalists, coming 2nd, which makes her Britain’s Spag Bol Queen! Now she runs B-C-ing-U! and loves it! After several years of being messed around by Editors, and having loads of contacts, Lyn formed her own online Magazine, vowing to treat her writers fairly, and to do everything possible to further their careers, publicise their books, etc. She now has a band of excellent regular writers, and the Magazine’s going from strength to strength! Lyn’s online published books; Adverse Camber A collection of my published poems. The First Book of Short Stories The Second Book of Short Stories The Third Book of Short Stories. Many of these stories have been previously published. St Anthony of Padua. The Patron St of the Old. A story of one woman’s terrible ordeal in a Home, and her family’s rescue of her. The Girl Who Watched. A Cuban girl is attacked by an English journalist & what follows! Willy the Whizz & the Wormhole. Suitable for Young Adults, aged 15-95! Get Out Of Debt And Stay Out – Forever! Unsympathetic, hard-hitting, realistic solutions to your problems. All these books are published by Andrews UK Ltd www.andrewsuk.com No, I didn’t pay them to Vanity Publish! They’re all available from Amazon, and many other online publishers. LYN FUNNELL.