10 More Ways to spot a Brit Abroad.
- Brits insist on criticising the UK to the locals when the locals are praising their own country. The locals usually frown and don’t understand why the Brits are talking like that!
- Brits will pay a high price to go on a tour even when there’s a bus-stop right outside the hotel.
- Brits rarely speak any other language, so they shout in a weird pigin English that nobody can understand, even the other Brits! I recently heard a man at the breakfast buffet in Switzerland shouting at a waitress while making strange gestures with his arm. He was saying, ‘For bowl. Eat. Where is?’ It turned out that he wanted a spoon for his cornflakes!
- Brits twitch a lot and look anxious while waiting for food, drinks, buses, taxis, etc.
- Brits meander along in the middle of the road talking if they’re in a group, and look surprised if a car comes along, or if the guide asks them to keep on the pavement.
- Brits think it’s very funny to throw the staff in the pool, over and over and over again. It’s not funny and the staff get very angry.
- Brits smile at cats and dogs while walking along in a bent-over position. They smuggle food out of the hotel and buy tins of food for all the strays, who form packs at the end of the season, get rounded up and put down.
- Brits spend hours beside the pool on their first day, writing postcards when they’ve got nothing to write about!
- Brits arrive on holiday and go straight out to find a bar with a TV with a sports channel and English beer. They shout at everyone else in the bar about the football teams.
- Brits take anti-diarrhoea tablets on their first day, washed down with beer or brandy ‘Just in case..’
Oh we’re always good for a laugh, aren’t we?
I’m sure that we Brits alter more than any other race when we go abroad on holiday!