brtis3

  1. Brits insist on criticising the UK to the locals when the locals are praising their own country. The locals usually frown and don’t understand why the Brits are talking like that!
  2. Brits will pay a high price to go on a tour even when there’s a bus-stop right outside the hotel.brits6
  3. Brits rarely speak any other language, so they shout in a weird pigin English that nobody can understand, even the other Brits! I recently heard a man at the breakfast buffet in Switzerland shouting at a waitress while making strange gestures with his arm. He was saying, ‘For bowl. Eat. Where is?’ It turned out that he wanted a spoon for his cornflakes!
  4. Brits twitch a lot and look anxious while waiting for food, drinks, buses, taxis, etc.brits
  5. Brits meander along in the middle of the road talking if they’re in a group, and look surprised if a car comes along, or if the guide asks them to keep on the pavement.
  6. Brits think it’s very funny to throw the staff in the pool, over and over and over again. It’s not funny and the staff get very angry.
  7. Brits smile at cats and dogs while walking along in a bent-over position. They smuggle food out of the hotel and buy tins of food for all the strays, who form packs at the end of the season, get rounded up and put down.brits4
  8. Brits spend hours beside the pool on their first day, writing postcards when they’ve got nothing to write about!
  9. Brits arrive on holiday and go straight out to find a bar with a TV with a sports channel and English beer. They shout at everyone else in the bar about the football teams.brits2
  10. Brits take anti-diarrhoea tablets on their first day, washed down with beer or brandy ‘Just in case..’

Oh we’re always good for a laugh, aren’t we?

I’m sure that we Brits alter more than any other race when we go abroad on holiday!

brits5

About Lyn

LYN FUNNELL CV (well, sort of!) Lyn had very successful careers as an Air Hostess, Sales Rep, (she was one of only a couple of women. She beat all the men regularly, becoming the Top Rep in the UK, and 2nd in the world.) And then Catering took over. She did everything from the washing-up, to Silver Service Waitress, and Chef. A few times, she had to cook the meal, dash round the other side and Silver Serve it! In between all this, she wrote as often as she could, building up a reputation as a published short story writer, (Horror and a twist in the tale,) and a Poet. She has appeared as a Performing Poet, and a Demo Chef. Then she discovered the world of the Food & Travel Writer. And that’s what she has continued doing to this day. Her main hobbies are Cookery and entering Competitions. She has won many prizes, including holidays and a moped. She enjoys entering Competitions, submitting her original recipes. She was first in many Competitions, including the Good Housekeeping Millenium Menu, Fruits of France, Bernard Matthews Turkey Recipe, and appeared on BBC’s The One Show Spag Bol contest. She was one of three Finalists, coming 2nd, which makes her Britain’s Spag Bol Queen! Now she runs B-C-ing-U! and loves it! After several years of being messed around by Editors, and having loads of contacts, Lyn formed her own online Magazine, vowing to treat her writers fairly, and to do everything possible to further their careers, publicise their books, etc. She now has a band of excellent regular writers, and the Magazine’s going from strength to strength! Lyn’s online published books; Adverse Camber A collection of my published poems. The First Book of Short Stories The Second Book of Short Stories The Third Book of Short Stories. Many of these stories have been previously published. St Anthony of Padua. The Patron St of the Old. A story of one woman’s terrible ordeal in a Home, and her family’s rescue of her. The Girl Who Watched. A Cuban girl is attacked by an English journalist & what follows! Willy the Whizz & the Wormhole. Suitable for Young Adults, aged 15-95! Get Out Of Debt And Stay Out – Forever! Unsympathetic, hard-hitting, realistic solutions to your problems. All these books are published by Andrews UK Ltd www.andrewsuk.com No, I didn’t pay them to Vanity Publish! They’re all available from Amazon, and many other online publishers. LYN FUNNELL.