I was always encouraged to be creative when growing up, mainly by my Mum who is an artist in Malta. I continued to be creative after I left home whilst studying and working but I certainly could not do it as often. I often felt frustrated that I could express myself creatively at school or in jobs but always thought that was just the way life was if you wanted to make a decent living. My soulmate, Ben, died 13 months ago and I was completely distraught. I felt unable to go back to my job or to work at all. I was afraid of facing the outside world and lost all my confidence in my ability to work for someone. I am not entirely sure where the thought came from but I suddenly wanted to knit so I taught myself how to do it. It helped me so much to cope with my shock and grief. I really do not know what I would have done without my natural instinct to turn to creativity And I gradually even set up my own company called Miss Knitty! The knitting reminded me of how much I have always loved creating and upcycling objects so I now do a little bit of everything everyday – I knit, make birthday presents for people, upcycle furniture in my home and all sorts of other projects. I just cannot stop creating! My living room is packed with craft supplies, from piles of wool to little cupboards I want to do up to piles of decoupage paper – it truly is a little craft studio! I create things from scratch but I always find upcycling to be more inspirational as when I can stop myself from just buying a new item and instead try to upcycle what I already have it makes me think laterally. I look at an object and see its potential to be something better and more beautiful and then my mind just takes off with ideas! I have never been good at meditation even though lots of people recommend it to me all the time. My mind is just way too busy thinking about things to be able to stop. But when I am creating it feels like my own form of meditation as my mind focusses on my creativity and therefore the present and that particular moment in time which is very calming for me. I am currently struggling with thoughts on whether I should be seeking an office job or invest my time and energy into my creativity. To conform or not to conform to society. But when I strip all my confused thoughts back and ask myself the simple question “What do you want to do?” I answer “I just want to make things!” I feel like some might think I am a little bit mad sometimes for throwing myself into something that may or may not support me financially but I truly feel content when I create so maybe I will just go with it for now. I know Ben would be glad that I have found something to invest love and passion into so I hope I am doing the right thing for now. And right now that is all that matter isn’t it? Miss Knitty Please visit www.missknitty.com if you would like to see more of my knits or ‘Like’ Miss Knitty on Facebook for updates on future projects.
This article is by Jeni Caruana’s daughter.