strawberry_jamSo there I was on my knees beside my open case in the middle of Brive Airport, panty pads flying around like paper planes.
Why? Apparently a tiny tin of Fois Gras or a small sealed jar of strawberry jam are deadly weapons, feared by airlines worldwide – that plus the fanatical killer instinct in my eyes of course!
Now, like most normal people, I want to arrive at my destination without being hijacked or blown to bits. But I don’t have any patience with all this childish, over-the-top, money-grabbing rubbish that’s going on now.
Also, I hate being lied to. I’m not a member of the Sheeple and I don’t believe all the propaganda that we’re being fed.
Remember a few years ago when they apparently discovered a group of terrorists in a flat, planning to blow up planes mid-Atlantic by mixing a bomb with liquid, despite the fact that most of them didn’t have passports?
By the next morning, early, all the British airports miraculously had literally billions of plastic bags, plus the staff to give them out, for us to throw away anything that was potentially dangerous, like lipsticks, perfume, bottles of water, etc. And they also had some marquees, etc for the dreadful tailback of people.
Note that they’d already apprehended the culprits. So why all the panic?
Let’s think about this; if it was actually possible to get tons of bags from any factory/warehouse in the UK, they would have been shut and the keyholder would have had to have been traced, then travel there to open the doors.
Lorries would have had to travel there, once enough drivers and lorries had been found, then loaded up and driven all across Britain to deliver the bags.
aeroIt’s almost impossible to believe that such a huge supply of bags would be available.
So where would they come from? Probably China. They’d have to be ordered, paid for and shipped (not flown) over to the UK, unloaded, and distributed all over the country. How long would all that take?
Every time I go to an airport, which is quite a lot, I’m sure there’s a new gadget in use.
So I researched who is making these machines, protecting us all from the risk of terrorists, and collecting mega-billions in profit.
It’s the Chinese.
Recently the UK was going to lower its terror level. And guess what happened? A ‘mysterious package’ was found!
Surely any genuine terrorists would have been rubbing their hands together if the danger level was lowered.
Who wouldn’t have been rubbing their hands together? The profit-making giants.
Remember the two ‘terrorist’ loners? One tried to set fire to his shoe, and the other was an African with no luggage!
Both times there was apparently a well-dressed American who could help them both on board, then sit near them. Hmm. I doubt if the American CIA? FBI? Had any intention of being blown up!
If Hitler can see the totally nude’security’ machines, he’ll be rolling in his grave in fits of laughter! How disgusting are they? Absolutely vile as far as I’m concerned, as all the Sheeple meekly shuffle past.
So who guards the guards?
x-ray_image_womanThe real secret killer and danger risk isn’t potential terrorists; it’s the plane’s aircon.
As Iain rightly says, when smoking was allowed, the air conditioning was regularly cleaned out. Now, stale air, germs and bugs are constantly recycled, to save money.
A huge number of people are dangerously ill after a flight. I’ve been collecting the details and researching it.
In Cyprus and parts of Greece pneumonia and chest infections are known as the Airline Disease as so many passengers end up in hospital there within a few days of their arrival.
How many people do you know who have gone down with a bad cold and breathing problems after a flight? They usually blame it on returning to our British climate. But the truth is, they caught it on the plane.
It also happens during a cruise, again caused by the air-conditioning.
So what was I doing on my knees in the middle of the airport?
Well, we were travelling with a certain airline that doesn’t allow your baggage to be a nano-micro-particle of dust over the weight allowance. I wasn’t going to pay. And I wasn’t going to part with my fois gras and jam, so I was luggage-juggling, taking things out of my case and placing them in my hand luggage, which I was allowed to do.
(I find it a bit strange as we’re all going on the same plane, whether the goods are in the cabin or the hold. Ooh, it couldn’t be about money again, could it?!)
And when the brain-dead female patted me all over, then ran her gadget all over my body to make sure that I didn’t have a jar of jam concealed up my jumper,  I couldn’t help thinking that a bit of training to be a good judge of character would be very useful for them, instead of assuming that we’re all a potential danger.
But of course it wouldn’t make billionaires out of the designers and manufacturers of all the machines. And that’s what counts, isn’t it?
While there are massive sums of money to be made, I’m sure there’ll always be a ‘terror’ risk; real or invented  – or am I just a cynic?

About Lyn

LYN FUNNELL CV (well, sort of!) Lyn had very successful careers as an Air Hostess, Sales Rep, (she was one of only a couple of women. She beat all the men regularly, becoming the Top Rep in the UK, and 2nd in the world.) And then Catering took over. She did everything from the washing-up, to Silver Service Waitress, and Chef. A few times, she had to cook the meal, dash round the other side and Silver Serve it! In between all this, she wrote as often as she could, building up a reputation as a published short story writer, (Horror and a twist in the tale,) and a Poet. She has appeared as a Performing Poet, and a Demo Chef. Then she discovered the world of the Food & Travel Writer. And that’s what she has continued doing to this day. Her main hobbies are Cookery and entering Competitions. She has won many prizes, including holidays and a moped. She enjoys entering Competitions, submitting her original recipes. She was first in many Competitions, including the Good Housekeeping Millenium Menu, Fruits of France, Bernard Matthews Turkey Recipe, and appeared on BBC’s The One Show Spag Bol contest. She was one of three Finalists, coming 2nd, which makes her Britain’s Spag Bol Queen! Now she runs B-C-ing-U! and loves it! After several years of being messed around by Editors, and having loads of contacts, Lyn formed her own online Magazine, vowing to treat her writers fairly, and to do everything possible to further their careers, publicise their books, etc. She now has a band of excellent regular writers, and the Magazine’s going from strength to strength! Lyn’s online published books; Adverse Camber A collection of my published poems. The First Book of Short Stories The Second Book of Short Stories The Third Book of Short Stories. Many of these stories have been previously published. St Anthony of Padua. The Patron St of the Old. A story of one woman’s terrible ordeal in a Home, and her family’s rescue of her. The Girl Who Watched. A Cuban girl is attacked by an English journalist & what follows! Willy the Whizz & the Wormhole. Suitable for Young Adults, aged 15-95! Get Out Of Debt And Stay Out – Forever! Unsympathetic, hard-hitting, realistic solutions to your problems. All these books are published by Andrews UK Ltd www.andrewsuk.com No, I didn’t pay them to Vanity Publish! They’re all available from Amazon, and many other online publishers. LYN FUNNELL.