Tiptoeing past all the naked bodies, I tightly clutched my towel around me.
I was expecting it, but I wasn’t prepared for such openness. After all, I’m British!
Anyway, let’s back-track.
hannover15Stansted Airport’s Security is very slow. A lot of travellers only had hand-luggage, and the staff seemed determined to completely search the lot.
I queued, waiting for my bag amongst the backlog, or packlog, while they unpacked all their t-shirts, shorts, etc that their Mums had neatly ironed, and Security ran their latest machines round the bags to check for exploding underpants.
Finally I reached the Traveller Lounge and gratefully tucked in to a  bacon butty and a cup of tea, followed by a Danish.
When I’ve been searching for somewhere to go on holiday, I’ve never given Germany a thought. I don’t know why. But now I was off to the Hanover region to visit several spa towns and sample the treatments.
Germanwings is a budget airline, but very professional. I shall try and fly with them again.
We were met at Hanover airport and taken to the Hotel Loccumer Hof, a boutique hotel.
All the rooms are individually designed, and completely different.
hannover23My room was the best. It was lemon, pale blue and lime green. Two chairs hung from the ceiling on chains, and the artwork was all based around fairies and butterflies.
We walked around the corner and ate at the Brauhaus Ernst August. They brew their own beer in huge copper vats. Hops cover the ceiling. It’s a very popular venue.
The menu was small, but the portions weren’t! Everything was fresh and varied.
In the afternoon we had a tour of Hanover. It’s a very green city, with lots of parkland, plus shops and restaurants. A great place for a city break.
Everywhere is modern as the Allies completely flattened the whole town. All that was left was the partly-destroyed Cathedral and the Town Hall. A bomb landed in the historical Town Hall, but they picked it up and threw it out again before it exploded.
There’s also the burnt-out shell of a church left standing as a monument.
In the Town Centre, exact copies of the Medieval wooden houses have been rebuilt. Stand on the stone circle and you can see four churches; one in each direction.
At the end of the road, there is a fountain with a gold ring in the railings surrounding it. It’s said that if you twiddle the ring right round and make a wish, it will come true. But you mustn’t tell anyone what you wished for!
hannover19I twiddled it, but nothing’s happened yet. I don’t know how long I have to wait for.
The Aspria Spa & Sport Club, on the shore of the Maschsee, is beside a lake that around 3,000 men dug out by hand for the Nazis in the 1930s. Yachts and pleasure boats sail on it, curious swans come very near to the shore, and there are giant carp. Apparently the biggest is called Hugo!
Now listed, all the buildings have recently been renovated. Part of the beach is for public use, and the rest is a private club.
We were given a tour, followed by a wonderful massage, then left to use the facilities.
Hence my tip-toeing past all the naked members!
I chickened out of the sauna and its pool. I’m embarrassed about my wobbly stomach, let alone the rest of me! But I had a lovely swim in the main pool.
The evening temperature was perfect, so we ate outside. As the sun set, a deep red, we could see nude families wading into the lake together and lying around on the loungers.
In the morning, we were transported to Bad Pyrmont.
I fell in love with the town as we pulled up outside the Steigenberger Hotel.
While we ate on the veranda we admired the view of the perfect landscaped gardens.
hannover28In the afternoon our guide escorted us around the small town. The architecture is very similar to Tunbridge Wells in places. Both towns were popular at the same time, thanks to King George the Whatever (the guide and I disagreed about which George it was!)
There are several different types of springs, and the water is bottled too. With the CO2 treatment, the patient sits in a box with their head out. The knowledge of the springs’ healing power dates back to Roman times, and possibly longer.
The hotel has its own spa. Again we had a wonderful massage.
Swimming in the pool was amazing. It was like bathing in Space Dust! Every time I touched my skin, it fizzed. It was a lovely sensation and kept me amused for ages.
In the evening, we walked uphill to the Hotel Bergkurpark for dinner. We felt as though we were sitting in the middle of a forest. So relaxing.
Each course was cooked in a different type of spring water; a good concept, and everything was visually superb, but I wasn’t impressed with most of it. The mushrooms in jelly was horrible.
The fillet steak was boiled, which was a brave thing to do. It was very tender, but overcooked, which was a shame.
After dinner we walked back through the town. Waiters were packing away all the chairs and tables, although it was still early. A few people were finishing their drinks .The town was deserted.
hannover37Breakfast was top-quality, with plenty of choice. I had the largest, juicest strawberries I’ve ever had! And the views out the windows were beautiful.
Off we went to the next spa town.
We stopped briefly in Hamlin, outside the museum. I didn’t see any rats. But I didn’t see any children either! The Pied Piper obviously did a thorough job.
Bad Nenndorf was next. We were greeted by our next guides. The lady was in full National Costume, despite the heat.
Quite honestly I found the tour rather boring. There wasn’t much to talk about. Although the park’s mansions dating from the 1600s have been renovated, the rest of the town was modern.
Finally we were taken to the treatment centre. They have a selection of therapies. There are salt water baths, and a very complex mud treatment with huge pipes and vats in the cellar that resembles a brewery!
In Germany, doctors can recommend treatments for a wide range of ailments, from asthma to arthritis. Much better than medication, and with more positive results!
We walked to the club. Again I chickened out of the sauna. Clothes are banned.
hannover27Our guide, who worked in the Spa, was, um, well he was a bit of alright. There’s no way I could have sat next to him stark naked, casually discussing the weather in England. I know where my eyes would have kept straying!
I swam in the salt pool. My feet kept floating to the surface. In fact, it was really hard to stand upright!
In the evening we arrived at the Hotel Harms. Again, they have their own treatment area and a pool.
The Chef was a hunter. There were stuffed animals everywhere; bears, a goat, and trophy heads on the walls.
We were given the choice of a beer bath or a water bed. I chose the water bed. I was a bit worried that I’d try to drink my way out of the bath!
I was covered in cream, then wrapped in plastic and left to float and cook for 20 minutes, trying to stay awake. Then I swam in the pool.
The evening meal was our favourite, and beautifully displayed.
As we had a very early start, and we were feeling lethargic from our treatments, we all went to bed early.
In the morning, the dining-room wasn’t open yet, but the hotel’s owner had packed each of us a bag-full of breakfast to eat in the airport.
At Hanover airport, all the staff were very, friendly, helpful, and more laid-back than the English airport staff. But they still confiscated half the breakfasts!
hannover24When I got home I phoned our local Fitness Centre. I told them I’d just returned from a trip to several German spas, and I asked what they’d do if I went in the pool naked?
She put me on hold and went to discuss it with the Management.
‘We’d politely ask you to cover up,’ she told me, ‘And if you didn’t, we’d call the police!’
So there’s the difference. The Germans think body parts are natural, and we call them Naughty Bits!
Apart from a few short showers, the weather was hot. The food was all good, natural, and beautifully displayed. The Germans are very particular about their food and health.
Everyone was pleasant and polite wherever we went. Everywhere was immaculate and well-maintained, with lots of sculptures and artwork.
I was very impressed. I’ve fallen in love with Germany.
But if I go again, I’m still keeping my cossie on!

Useful Information: HANNOVERHotel Loccumer Hof
www.loccumerhof.comWellness treatment at Aspria Club:
Aspria Well Being Massage:
www.aspria-hannover.deBAD PYRMONTSteigenberger Hotel Bad Pyrmont

Wellness treatment at Steigenberger Hotel:
Ginger back massage:
Short foot massage
Normal back massage
Total body peel

There are no special packages for English speaking guests or transfer days in Bad Pyrmont. Nevertheless it is very easy to reach Bad Pyrmont by train: you just have to enter the “S 5” at Hannover airport and 1 hour 20 minutes later you will arrive at Bad Pyrmont main station. Many hotels in Bad Pyrmont offer a transfer service from Bad Pyrmont main station to the hotel and back; public buses and taxis are available as well.

BAD NENNDORF

Hotel Harms offers wellness arrangements including overnight stay and treatment, but the description is only available in German language:
http://www.hotel-harms.de/images/stories/Well_Vital.pdf

The tourist information in Bad Nenndorf offers transport from Hannover Airport to Bad Nenndorf. They will be happy to work out special offers in English on request!

FURTHER INFORMATION ABOUT PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION

There is a direct connection by train from Hannover Airport to Hannover main railway station (HBF). Takes 17 minutes, trains leave every 30 minutes.
.
– Hotel Loccumer Hof is in walking distance from the main railway station (takes approx. 5 minutes).
– Aspria Club is reachable either by taxi (easiest way…) or by tram no. 1, 2 or 8 in direction Laatzen/Sarstedt/Messe Nord. Get off at “Döhrener Turm”, walking distance to Aspria: 600 m
– Bad Nenndorf reachable from Hannover HBF by train. Every 30 minutes and takes 44 minutes, direct connection. Walking distance to Hotel Harms: 700 m
– Bad Pyrmont reachable by train Hannover Airport (direct connection!). Leaving every 30 minutes and takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

From Bad Nenndorf to Bad Pyrmont there is another connection by train with one change in Weetzen. Takes 1.15 hours and leaves every hour.

About Lyn

LYN FUNNELL CV (well, sort of!) Lyn had very successful careers as an Air Hostess, Sales Rep, (she was one of only a couple of women. She beat all the men regularly, becoming the Top Rep in the UK, and 2nd in the world.) And then Catering took over. She did everything from the washing-up, to Silver Service Waitress, and Chef. A few times, she had to cook the meal, dash round the other side and Silver Serve it! In between all this, she wrote as often as she could, building up a reputation as a published short story writer, (Horror and a twist in the tale,) and a Poet. She has appeared as a Performing Poet, and a Demo Chef. Then she discovered the world of the Food & Travel Writer. And that’s what she has continued doing to this day. Her main hobbies are Cookery and entering Competitions. She has won many prizes, including holidays and a moped. She enjoys entering Competitions, submitting her original recipes. She was first in many Competitions, including the Good Housekeeping Millenium Menu, Fruits of France, Bernard Matthews Turkey Recipe, and appeared on BBC’s The One Show Spag Bol contest. She was one of three Finalists, coming 2nd, which makes her Britain’s Spag Bol Queen! Now she runs B-C-ing-U! and loves it! After several years of being messed around by Editors, and having loads of contacts, Lyn formed her own online Magazine, vowing to treat her writers fairly, and to do everything possible to further their careers, publicise their books, etc. She now has a band of excellent regular writers, and the Magazine’s going from strength to strength! Lyn’s online published books; Adverse Camber A collection of my published poems. The First Book of Short Stories The Second Book of Short Stories The Third Book of Short Stories. Many of these stories have been previously published. St Anthony of Padua. The Patron St of the Old. A story of one woman’s terrible ordeal in a Home, and her family’s rescue of her. The Girl Who Watched. A Cuban girl is attacked by an English journalist & what follows! Willy the Whizz & the Wormhole. Suitable for Young Adults, aged 15-95! Get Out Of Debt And Stay Out – Forever! Unsympathetic, hard-hitting, realistic solutions to your problems. All these books are published by Andrews UK Ltd www.andrewsuk.com No, I didn’t pay them to Vanity Publish! They’re all available from Amazon, and many other online publishers. LYN FUNNELL.