falstaffA selection of amusing ‘quickies’:

For sale – 20 Volume encyclopedia. Good condition. No longer needed. Wife Knows everything.

Pedestrian – a motorist with two or more children over seventeen.

Shin – a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Suburbia – where they tear out trees and then name streets after them.

Never entrust your life to a surgeon with more than 3 plasters on his fingers.

Whoever said ‘Nothing is impossible’ never tried slamming a revolving door.

A Committee – a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

Budget – an orderly system for living beyond your means.

Campers -nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

Oversleeping? A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from going back to sleep.

About Elizabeth Wright

Managed a Pet and Garden Centre in Eastbourne for 38 years. Holder of City and Guilds Certificate in Pet Shop Management/Animal Care. Past pupil of The Writers Bureau and The Bureau of Freelance Photographers. I have been writing feature articles for forty years and have been published in a wide variety of popular magazines ranging from Sussex Life, Aspect County and The Lady to Landscape, Bird Keeper and Your Cat. Author of Made in Sussex. (S.B.Publications) Belle Tout – The Little Lighthouse That Moved. (My Voice Publishing). From Fancy Pants to Getting There. Paperback (My Voice Publishing) From Fancy Pants to Getting There. Kindle (AndrewsUK publishing) Full member of The Society of Women Writers and Journalists. Membership Secretary of Anderida Writers, Eastbourne and was awarded their Anderida Accolade for services to the Club.